BABY KILLERS

When you are a kid you are so innocent .The whole world seems to be a loving place to live in .I will always say that's the period which is the best in our life. If ever God appears before me I will only ask for that period .No selfishness,no jealousy above all no responsibility .When you grow up when you come face to face with the bitter truths you are really shocked. That's how I felt when I saw a murderer ,a murderer who claimed what she did was sacrifice and the best for her child. Many of you would have seen Karuthamma ,about female infanticide. You would have thought the Tamil movie was an exaggeration and it is an event that takes place rarely .I come from Madurai I can tell you it just happens .No guilt feeling and no regrets among them. When I was in fifth standard ,I had a friend who was always sad because her parents hated her.(that's what she said).she always used to tell me that she had no breakfast because her mother never bothered to give her. When I told this to my mom,she put an end to this topic by telling me that she would give her food daily. She also told me that probably her parents were poor that they were rationing on food .My parents were very particular that their princess should never know what difficulty was. She did not want me to get wrong ideas about parents either. My friend had the breakfast I gave and afternoon,our school used to provide midday meals. She had that. That girl always had something or other to tell about her parents cruelty towards her. Whenever I told my mother she just dismissed it,strictly telling me not to talk about it any further. But it was a young mind, though I did not talk,I kept feeling sorry for my friend. One day she came to school happily saying she had a sister and asked me to see the baby,when we were returning from school. The hospital was on the way. I was never permitted to go anywhere. As it was on the way, I went into the hospital to see the baby. It was so tiny and sweet .When I was back ,I told my mom about the baby and she was happy that finally I have changed the cruelty topic not knowing the storm that was to follow the next day. When I went to school I saw my friend in tears. She said that the baby had died. I started weeping. My class teacher tried reasoning but she couldn't stop my tears. So she sent me to the principal who told me that the baby was Gods child so it has gone back to God.(it was a christian school and she told me some stories.)She had a tough time with me .Even now I can remember that scene I was sitting in Mother Superiors lap and she was offering me toffee and ice cream . I was not diverted by any of these things. Finally she sent me home thinking my mom can do a better job because I was shaking with fever. My mother,knowing my attitude, was calming me down with so many explanations. Finally she said “you told me your friend was treated badly and what will they do to this kid ,so God will give it to nice parents”. That made sense I was really happy. Next day I went to school I wasn't allowed to sit near my friend and it was to be that way for a week. My old maid (she was 60 years old and she kept blabbering about her woes,when she did her job) was strictly told not to say anything about death or difficulties to me. Two years after this incidence, my mom and dad had some job in city and they took my sister with them. I am very sensitive to dust and am allergic to bus and crowd that I was asked to stay back. I did it happily. So the old maid was my baby sitter. We played snakes and ladders .In one move she was brought from top to bottom .She said ,it was just like her life and she started ,forgetting the warning. This was her story. She was rich and her dad a drunkard,lost a lot of money then her husband drank and gambled and she became poor and had to work for her living. Then she said ,she felt bad that she wasn't killed like her sister. She said because she was the first they left her otherwise they would have killed her. I asked her the reason and she said because she was a girl. I was so shocked ,I heard her silently with my heart racing. She said darling ,You don't know, there is no use having a girl.(chinna rani potta pillai na la onnum upavoyagam illai)they spell trouble and expense not so with the boy. Then she told me the shocking news that even my friends sister was killed the same way giving erukam milk (mulberry milk)I was shocked,couldn't believe my ears. .I asked her who killed the baby and she said the girls mother and grand mother. Not knowing the state of my mind ,she went on that she had also killed three of her kids and two of her grand daughters. I was stunned and I told her that I would complain against her to police .I told her she was a killer. She laughed saying even the police used to call these people to kill their girl babies.She said it was with good intention she was doing this,She did not want the babies to suffer like her. She finally concluded that I will understand when I grow up. She said she had done the best for her children. She did not feel bad about it. She was talking as if she was killing an ant. That was the last time I spoke to her. Even though she worked after my marriage after my daughter was born,till her death,I never talked to her. I did not allow her to touch my daughter. She used to sit near me and say en rani ku en ivalo kobam.Innuma puriyalai.(what my queen still angry with me,don't you understand still)Matter of fact I was angry with my mother for not sacking her.My moms opinion was, it was her business,she was poor and old and was trustworthy and she cant send her out.She knew everything even before I told her. Aren't we dumb ,by not doing anything against them.Aren't we also a part of their plot. Murderers are murderers.So the saying that mothers love is unselfish with lot of sacrifices is all false.All love is selfish.You are lucky if you get a good mom. Here I have to say my friends father was an engineering college professor and whatever the girl said was true .They ill treated her because she was a girl. She committed suicide when she was in her eleventh standard ,as they wanted her to marry a rich old man.I just thought of putting this article of mine in my blog when I read a news in Times of India,mom and grandma kill twin girls in Madurai.
TIMES NEWS NETWORK
Madurai: In a shocking case of female infanticide in southern Tamil Nadu, a woman allegedly murdered a girl born to her two weeks ago by slitting her throat with a blade, even as her mother suffocated the twin. Both were arrested in Thoothukudi on Thursday. Police said the women had committed the crime as they were disappointed that both babies were girls, and they feared the family would incur huge expenditure in their treatment as they were born premature.
Police said Revathy (21), wife of an autorickshaw driver of Oddapidaram in Thoothukudi district, developed labour pain on September 23; she was eight months pregnant. She was rushed to the Thoothukudi government hospital, where twin girls were born the next day. The babies weighed about 2kg each.
Very sad. I always feel guilty that we just watch,listen,read.......unable to do nothing........ nothing at all.

HOROSCOPE READING......MY PERCEPTION

One evening when my husband was busy and I had nothing to do but watch television .I was scanning channels and came to a halt when I saw an astrologer answering the queries asked on phone. His answers were very funny .He said it was hard time for another two years and after that the person who was worried of his future, will see happiness due to the transition of certain planets and domination of certain planets. Even planets dominate thus bringing doom …..just like parents dominance,wives dominance,husbands dominance......I am always amused when I see people running from one astrologer to another with their horoscopes .The funniest thing is,the astrologers always say that the time the person was born wasn't good,as if you have control of this.I will advice future babies to check the time and date and come out into this beautiful world. How can squares,circles and planets govern a persons happiness and fortune....wait wait..let me tell something,I am not debating against these horoscopes or am I saying that they are all false,I am just speaking my heart. Coming from a very very orthodox family(even I am surprised by my ideas)which always attached each and every event to horoscope,I grew up with these ideas and was always puzzled .The first time ,I couldn't help laughing was , when I was in labor ward awaiting the arrival of my dear darling daughter. My dad did not trust the nurse there. He wanted the exact time of the babies arrival. So he set his watch with the radios time and then gave his watch to the nurse. Even in that pain, I asked my mom what if the nurse just forgets to see the precise time but just says...my mom asked me to shut up.I am very staunch believer of God and destiny but not squares. According to me ,every man in his course of life has ups and downs and nothing remains forever. Of course for some its difficulty throughout their lifetime. But my argument is that squares cant mend them either. My opinion is that we are fed with lot of negative thoughts....like its a difficult period ahead .The person hearing this will keep thinking about the difficult time which may not be so hard when he faces it or as a matter of fact may not come at all..People just think that if two horoscopes tally it will be a very happy marriage. What if the heart and feelings and ideas don't tally. They only attach much importance to this than the people concerned. I will say that most marriages will be happy if it was fixed with other factors on mind than mere squares. We had a friend who had an unemployed son. That father took his sons horoscope to many astrologers and he told us that after two years it was good time for him and he will be well settled. I wanted to tell him,Hello sir its already two years since your son finished,you wait for another two years ,he wont get the opportunity to work at all. Actually the astrologers words would have given him an excuse for not applying for a job. Here I would like to clarify that the boy did not get the job because he was not willing to work and not because of his stars and squares and after those beautiful two years too ,he is still jobless.. My opinion....Horoscope seeing ,instead of giving positive thinking it just leads the person to negative ideas. It makes a person very lazy and stupid. He never understands that half his problems are his own making not the faults of the planets. I always term those piece of papers as horror scopes not horoscopes as these astrologers, just for the sake of making money always predict a big doom which can be altered by doing a homa or pooja. Why submit ourselves before such people and become weak. Whatever happens happens .Can we stop a tsunami,can we prevent a person from dying or even if the date of death is predicted wont we just keep brooding over it wasting our precious life. Lets just face any difficulty strongly and bravely. Is there any pooja greater than the love we can show to the people in distress ?God can be seen in the smiles of the poor and needy when you give them a helping hand. You ultimately come to see the truth, that your difficulty is nothing compared to difficulties of others and there is nothing that can be done by running to astrologers carrying that piece of paper.Lastly if my father stumbles on this article I have written ,I will be due for a big lecture that he is sad that I have become a non-believer and that I should not say that I have no belief...blah blah...and surely my squares cannot save me from this.... can it?