LIFE

Life is beautiful
when you are with
the person you love.
Life is wonderful,
when you are blessed
with everything you dream of.
Life is demanding
when you have to achieve goals.
when difficulties surround you.
But life is worth living
when you are with
the people who love you,
when people turn around
to you for solace
when people start missing you
when you arent around.

A joy ride on a roller coaster :P

Its not about roller coasters, as the title states. As a matter of fact, I never go on roller coaster rides . I am always happy to have both my feet on the ground. I never like to defy the gravitational force. Its about a ride in a share auto. No one belonging to Chennai would have missed this auto ride. All precautions are taken in a roller coaster but none , in this auto ride . You just travel keeping your fingers crossed,; no safety norms observed, no road rules followed. The driver would stop anywhere on the road, load any number of people and go. I really doubt, if the driver really has a driving licence. Recently, I boarded a share auto, as I thought, a fifteen minutes ride can do me no harm. It was nice to start with with just 7 people, all seated comfortably. But, after the journey began, the driver stopped every three minutes and loaded many people, asking everyone inside the auto to adjust. He had tactfully loaded 14 people into the auto which can accommodate only 8. .I thought that was all; again he stopped and loaded a man who also wanted to travel sitting near him. The driver was perched so precariously on his seat that I was really scared that either the driver or the other person would really fall out any time. As of us ,we couldnt move a bit,; were just tightly packed like the biscuits of a pack. Speed breakers, I am not sure whether they limit the speed of the vehicles or not but they really make the auto riders to touch sky and come down. The driver just enjoyed speeding over the speed breaker rather than cutting off the speed. In our township we have quiet a lot of earth to sky bridges in the name of speed breakers. Among the passengers, there was a lady who was complaining about her son to her friend ; another talking about her illness , you get to hear all types of philosophical advices gven by the co-passengers. All making it a good entertainment, sometimes. We all held our breath, when the driver managed the squeeze the auto between two buses; a small jerk could have toppled us. When I shouted at the driver for being reckless, a woman commented that whatever is destined to happen will happen and fate only triumphs. Somehow the ordeal came to an end ….and finally I got down. My God, I never thought a fifteen minutes ride could be so scary. I really thanked God and the ride reminded myself how much I loved my dear life. Whenever I see a share auto speeding towards me, I just run away to extreme side of the road to assure me of the safety. That is the best thing to do.

We learn at lot in life through our experiences.. Now as a friend of mine has pointed out that there are also many positive points about share autos. I quote my friend below: ,

“It gets all the bad reputation on account of driver's greed and passenger's expediency.

If you recall the Bond Actor: Pierce Brosnan likes the ride on our three wheelers: Auto and Share Auto. I too.

Share Auto has many virtues. It is a great leveller. It brings everyone on the same plane. No bar on caste, colour,creed, sex age, etc., etc.,

It provides whole body physio theapy. It can vibrate, shake oscillate in several directions conditioned by the number of people in it. It has one Statutory limitation: MINIMUM 7!(I disagree here ,have you travelled in Kalpakkam ,they have a wooden bench fixed at the back of the driver and believe 4 adults could be seated on it.) I had the opportunity of sitting next to the driver and travel from Tiruvanmiyur Depot to Adayar Depot. Sitting on the "hot" seat and travelling with only one hand to keep you inside the moving junkyard was an experience in itself. These vehicle drivers are little more adventurous as the traffic is less and picks up good speed. judgments about this ride.”

I walked the path
very happy and gay.
No thorns or stones
to stop me on my way.
I just loved people
as they were
and trusted them
every word and deed.
Then I grew up to find
all smiles were false
and words were just words sake.
With pain in my heart
and tears in my eyes
I turn to Him
My only solace.
He answered me
with a smile
Dear!I have to use
different colours to
make my canvas bright.
Just walk your path
Light the house
that lacks a smile
hold the hand
which needs support.
dont ever expect,
dont ever want
for that is how
I want you my dear.
I turn around to
see my love smiling
holding out his hands
for me to hold.
What do I need?
Whom do I need?
Together we walk the path
happy and gay.

MY MIND (can it qualify as a poem? I doubt)

In the silence of night,
in the beauty of the stars fixed
against the dark blue sky,
with the moon smiling
the waves gleaming silver
in the moonlit night,
I wonder......
how everything can be so calm
my mind never calm
ALWAYS PREOCCUPIED

MOMS MAGIC

December 31 2009 midnight I asked my husband to take me to the beach to watch the Lunar eclipse.He said that was too late and only drunkards would be roaming around.My dear husband had to give in to my birthday wish.He would have prayed silently that I should fall asleep.Having decided on something I never give up.It was really a lovely night.The whiff cold air, the silence of the world against the dashing of waves,awaiting the arrival of the new year.It is my dream to walk in the waves at midnight.Even though I did not walk ,I had the privilege of standing on the bridge,watching this beautiful scene.It was better than staying at home.The year end always bring me sorrowful memories of my darling mom and every new year blooms with the same thoughts.Not that I forget my mother the other days,its this day the 31 st of December that took away my mother from me six years ago. Whenever I think of her,its only her smile,her soft talk and kind eyes that fill my eyes.It makes me, wish to see her yet once just a minute,if only I had that power.She had taught me a lot of things about life.Whatever be the problem,even after becoming a mother myself ,I used to call her and she had a beautiful solution, a word that always brought peace and courage into me.I really miss her whenever I am confronted with some problem.Now I sit in front of her photo and cry my mind out and get up refreshed.I still wonder how but it really calms me.She always was sweet and smiling and kind ,whatever be her troubles.However hard I try,I can never be her way.She was a striking contrast to my dad who was very strict and short tempered.When she had to stay away from me when I was a kid I remember her telling me that whenever I felt like seeing her,I just have to wait till night and look at the moon,she would be smiling there.I believed it then but now,after so many years,when I was watching the deep blue waves,I heard her words and without much thought,I lifted my eyes from the waves towards the moon spontaneously.There she was smiling ,wishing me on my 45 Th birthday.That's moms magic,whatever be your maturity ,whatever be your age you just believe a Mothers word ...its the profound love that flows ,that keeps watching us and keeps our life running.It can make anything happen.

BABY KILLERS

When you are a kid you are so innocent .The whole world seems to be a loving place to live in .I will always say that's the period which is the best in our life. If ever God appears before me I will only ask for that period .No selfishness,no jealousy above all no responsibility .When you grow up when you come face to face with the bitter truths you are really shocked. That's how I felt when I saw a murderer ,a murderer who claimed what she did was sacrifice and the best for her child. Many of you would have seen Karuthamma ,about female infanticide. You would have thought the Tamil movie was an exaggeration and it is an event that takes place rarely .I come from Madurai I can tell you it just happens .No guilt feeling and no regrets among them. When I was in fifth standard ,I had a friend who was always sad because her parents hated her.(that's what she said).she always used to tell me that she had no breakfast because her mother never bothered to give her. When I told this to my mom,she put an end to this topic by telling me that she would give her food daily. She also told me that probably her parents were poor that they were rationing on food .My parents were very particular that their princess should never know what difficulty was. She did not want me to get wrong ideas about parents either. My friend had the breakfast I gave and afternoon,our school used to provide midday meals. She had that. That girl always had something or other to tell about her parents cruelty towards her. Whenever I told my mother she just dismissed it,strictly telling me not to talk about it any further. But it was a young mind, though I did not talk,I kept feeling sorry for my friend. One day she came to school happily saying she had a sister and asked me to see the baby,when we were returning from school. The hospital was on the way. I was never permitted to go anywhere. As it was on the way, I went into the hospital to see the baby. It was so tiny and sweet .When I was back ,I told my mom about the baby and she was happy that finally I have changed the cruelty topic not knowing the storm that was to follow the next day. When I went to school I saw my friend in tears. She said that the baby had died. I started weeping. My class teacher tried reasoning but she couldn't stop my tears. So she sent me to the principal who told me that the baby was Gods child so it has gone back to God.(it was a christian school and she told me some stories.)She had a tough time with me .Even now I can remember that scene I was sitting in Mother Superiors lap and she was offering me toffee and ice cream . I was not diverted by any of these things. Finally she sent me home thinking my mom can do a better job because I was shaking with fever. My mother,knowing my attitude, was calming me down with so many explanations. Finally she said “you told me your friend was treated badly and what will they do to this kid ,so God will give it to nice parents”. That made sense I was really happy. Next day I went to school I wasn't allowed to sit near my friend and it was to be that way for a week. My old maid (she was 60 years old and she kept blabbering about her woes,when she did her job) was strictly told not to say anything about death or difficulties to me. Two years after this incidence, my mom and dad had some job in city and they took my sister with them. I am very sensitive to dust and am allergic to bus and crowd that I was asked to stay back. I did it happily. So the old maid was my baby sitter. We played snakes and ladders .In one move she was brought from top to bottom .She said ,it was just like her life and she started ,forgetting the warning. This was her story. She was rich and her dad a drunkard,lost a lot of money then her husband drank and gambled and she became poor and had to work for her living. Then she said ,she felt bad that she wasn't killed like her sister. She said because she was the first they left her otherwise they would have killed her. I asked her the reason and she said because she was a girl. I was so shocked ,I heard her silently with my heart racing. She said darling ,You don't know, there is no use having a girl.(chinna rani potta pillai na la onnum upavoyagam illai)they spell trouble and expense not so with the boy. Then she told me the shocking news that even my friends sister was killed the same way giving erukam milk (mulberry milk)I was shocked,couldn't believe my ears. .I asked her who killed the baby and she said the girls mother and grand mother. Not knowing the state of my mind ,she went on that she had also killed three of her kids and two of her grand daughters. I was stunned and I told her that I would complain against her to police .I told her she was a killer. She laughed saying even the police used to call these people to kill their girl babies.She said it was with good intention she was doing this,She did not want the babies to suffer like her. She finally concluded that I will understand when I grow up. She said she had done the best for her children. She did not feel bad about it. She was talking as if she was killing an ant. That was the last time I spoke to her. Even though she worked after my marriage after my daughter was born,till her death,I never talked to her. I did not allow her to touch my daughter. She used to sit near me and say en rani ku en ivalo kobam.Innuma puriyalai.(what my queen still angry with me,don't you understand still)Matter of fact I was angry with my mother for not sacking her.My moms opinion was, it was her business,she was poor and old and was trustworthy and she cant send her out.She knew everything even before I told her. Aren't we dumb ,by not doing anything against them.Aren't we also a part of their plot. Murderers are murderers.So the saying that mothers love is unselfish with lot of sacrifices is all false.All love is selfish.You are lucky if you get a good mom. Here I have to say my friends father was an engineering college professor and whatever the girl said was true .They ill treated her because she was a girl. She committed suicide when she was in her eleventh standard ,as they wanted her to marry a rich old man.I just thought of putting this article of mine in my blog when I read a news in Times of India,mom and grandma kill twin girls in Madurai.
TIMES NEWS NETWORK
Madurai: In a shocking case of female infanticide in southern Tamil Nadu, a woman allegedly murdered a girl born to her two weeks ago by slitting her throat with a blade, even as her mother suffocated the twin. Both were arrested in Thoothukudi on Thursday. Police said the women had committed the crime as they were disappointed that both babies were girls, and they feared the family would incur huge expenditure in their treatment as they were born premature.
Police said Revathy (21), wife of an autorickshaw driver of Oddapidaram in Thoothukudi district, developed labour pain on September 23; she was eight months pregnant. She was rushed to the Thoothukudi government hospital, where twin girls were born the next day. The babies weighed about 2kg each.
Very sad. I always feel guilty that we just watch,listen,read.......unable to do nothing........ nothing at all.

HOROSCOPE READING......MY PERCEPTION

One evening when my husband was busy and I had nothing to do but watch television .I was scanning channels and came to a halt when I saw an astrologer answering the queries asked on phone. His answers were very funny .He said it was hard time for another two years and after that the person who was worried of his future, will see happiness due to the transition of certain planets and domination of certain planets. Even planets dominate thus bringing doom …..just like parents dominance,wives dominance,husbands dominance......I am always amused when I see people running from one astrologer to another with their horoscopes .The funniest thing is,the astrologers always say that the time the person was born wasn't good,as if you have control of this.I will advice future babies to check the time and date and come out into this beautiful world. How can squares,circles and planets govern a persons happiness and fortune....wait wait..let me tell something,I am not debating against these horoscopes or am I saying that they are all false,I am just speaking my heart. Coming from a very very orthodox family(even I am surprised by my ideas)which always attached each and every event to horoscope,I grew up with these ideas and was always puzzled .The first time ,I couldn't help laughing was , when I was in labor ward awaiting the arrival of my dear darling daughter. My dad did not trust the nurse there. He wanted the exact time of the babies arrival. So he set his watch with the radios time and then gave his watch to the nurse. Even in that pain, I asked my mom what if the nurse just forgets to see the precise time but just says...my mom asked me to shut up.I am very staunch believer of God and destiny but not squares. According to me ,every man in his course of life has ups and downs and nothing remains forever. Of course for some its difficulty throughout their lifetime. But my argument is that squares cant mend them either. My opinion is that we are fed with lot of negative thoughts....like its a difficult period ahead .The person hearing this will keep thinking about the difficult time which may not be so hard when he faces it or as a matter of fact may not come at all..People just think that if two horoscopes tally it will be a very happy marriage. What if the heart and feelings and ideas don't tally. They only attach much importance to this than the people concerned. I will say that most marriages will be happy if it was fixed with other factors on mind than mere squares. We had a friend who had an unemployed son. That father took his sons horoscope to many astrologers and he told us that after two years it was good time for him and he will be well settled. I wanted to tell him,Hello sir its already two years since your son finished,you wait for another two years ,he wont get the opportunity to work at all. Actually the astrologers words would have given him an excuse for not applying for a job. Here I would like to clarify that the boy did not get the job because he was not willing to work and not because of his stars and squares and after those beautiful two years too ,he is still jobless.. My opinion....Horoscope seeing ,instead of giving positive thinking it just leads the person to negative ideas. It makes a person very lazy and stupid. He never understands that half his problems are his own making not the faults of the planets. I always term those piece of papers as horror scopes not horoscopes as these astrologers, just for the sake of making money always predict a big doom which can be altered by doing a homa or pooja. Why submit ourselves before such people and become weak. Whatever happens happens .Can we stop a tsunami,can we prevent a person from dying or even if the date of death is predicted wont we just keep brooding over it wasting our precious life. Lets just face any difficulty strongly and bravely. Is there any pooja greater than the love we can show to the people in distress ?God can be seen in the smiles of the poor and needy when you give them a helping hand. You ultimately come to see the truth, that your difficulty is nothing compared to difficulties of others and there is nothing that can be done by running to astrologers carrying that piece of paper.Lastly if my father stumbles on this article I have written ,I will be due for a big lecture that he is sad that I have become a non-believer and that I should not say that I have no belief...blah blah...and surely my squares cannot save me from this.... can it?