Empty-nest syndrome and me :)

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I have read about "Empty nest syndrome" but never thought it can be true.You have to experience things to know about it.Empty-nest syndrome is the name given to a psychological condition that can affect a woman around the time that one or more of her children leave home.It's not a term you'll find in many medical text books, but it has become a useful phrase for encapsulating the feelings of sadness and loss that many women experience when their children no longer live with them or need day-to-day care.It's most common in autumn, when vast numbers of teenagers have just left home for college or university.It can also happen when a child gets married, because matrimony is a clear signal that Mum is no longer needed in the same way she once was.When my mom used to tell me that she missed and misses me a lot ,I never gave a big thought to it.That's why I am telling that you have to undergo the situation to know about it.when my daughter was born, it was like a bundle of joy,a small angel always with me demanding most of my time.My whole life started revolving around her.It was always my daughter,which held the top in our priority list . slowly my angel also started growing up but it was always me she used to turn up when she had any problems or when she wanted to know something.It was always mom knows the best.I never thought a day will come which may change the way things are being looked at.It was the time she had to enter college.We left her in college hostel.My stomach stated feeling funny.I started feeling bad .Even though I knew that I was leaving her in hostel I never thought it can cause so many feelings inside me.I would say it all started a week before and I even felt like asking my daughter whether I can stay in Chennai and she can always stay with me. I was very proud that my daughter was very bold not to show her tears ,even though I surely know she would have also felt the pain.I was also surprised about myself because that was the first time since she was born ,I was leaving her alone or was it I was separated from her but I was strong enough not to show my emotions. When we got into the car and we came out of the hostel into roads I wept and my husband told ...what is this, its just just an hour travel to chennai from kalpakkam and why are you so sad.You can talk to her over the phone but i knew he was also feeling bad.We came to my parents house .My mom told me it was natural ,I can understand your pain,You will be alright soon.I still remember I could not sleep a wink.I kept turning and tossing and it was my daughter who was in my mind and I was worried whether she will eat her breakfast properly ..etc.You don't need any reason to start worrying.We were to meet her in college after her first day and come back to kalpakkam.I was watching the clock and my mom was telling me that sounderya will be having a great time with her new friends and she is just going to wave her hands.Time seems to go in a slow pace.Now I knew the pain.The syndrome called empty nest too.After I saw my daughter we came to kalpakkam.I could see I was always occupied in her thoughts and it really made me feel lonely and depressed.I calmed myself trying to sort out things.I felt we as parents tend to always think that the children are solely dependent on us.We just fail to notice that they too grow up and they actually despise being told to do things the way we want.then I realised I have to control my emotions.Now that I have taught my daughter the good and bad,I should also allow her to mingle with the society so that she will learn to deal things.If I do not keep my feelings in check, I will always expect her to be near me during her weekend,to keep on reminding her to do this and that which is going to stand in her way of taking decisions.then I thought if I ever want my child to be a better individual I have to grow wise.So I just wrote these things which appeared in a magazine in a paper and read daily whenever I felt like calling her.
When your child leaves home, you'll obviously want to keep in touch with him or her. But don't try and do this excessively.Be sensitive to the fact that your son or daughter is trying to take a big, significant step in life - which isn't actually much to do with you.Your offspring will need your support, but will not want to feel swamped. And the more you cling or show that you're upset, the less likelihood there is of him or her contacting you.Ration your calls to no more than two a week. Also, try texting or using email instead of phoning. You'll be able to put your feelings succinctly without getting too emotional.This form of communication will probably suit your child better, too. It's much easier for a young person to say 'I really miss you' in a message rather than on the phone, when other students might be listening.If your child is having a miserable time at university or college, do resist the impulse to be pleased about this! And don't suggest that he or she gives up and comes home.Plenty of teenagers are very miserable and lonely for a couple of weeks, but they deal with it. And that is a great accomplishment.So be supportive, but don't sort everything for them - and certainly don't try to bring them back home.
Believe me that's what I did and that's what it is even now.My daughter ,now a young lady still my angel turns to me when she is depressed .She always asks me what to do and how to do things,but she is happy we are not those parents who keep a watch always.She decides.After all its her life and she has to decide.Wearing her shoes I just ask myself, will I like my parents telling me this and when it is a NO I don't tell her.I am sure she can never waver and fall into a wrong path as we have taught the goods in life.and she also knows her responsibility.Even without my telling she calls when she goes somewhere.I think children just love you when you have confidence in them.Anyway I cannot say this is the right way to parenting as I maybe right ,may be wrong...no mathematical formulas work here....was just talking my heart about Empty nest.when parents who are ready to send their kids to hostel talk to me about their fears,I always tell them this,the points I had followed.Maybe they think I am crazy .Anyway it worked good for me.